Cell pics

These are the Mades (pronounced May-dees)- aren't they darling? Paul, Anessa, Addi, and Anessa's family let us crash at their 2nd home near Palm Springs! We will DEFINITELY be doing it again, because besides the fact that they have a waterslide in their backyard (!!!!!!!!!), we just love everything Mades!


We spent last Saturday going out to Original Pancake house for Rio's belated birthday and hanging out at the Pumpkin Patch for HOURS!! You can buy a cup of feed for 2 bucks but after a shifty goat stole Belize's out of her hand in the first 30 seconds she got wise and pilfered around in the straw for stray feed. She even pretended like she was helping littler kids out and crouched right underneath their hands so the feed would drop right into hers. Rio just ran around looking cute with his hand out so that other parents would have pity. Oh my crafty crafty kids!

These faces just typifies a bad day for mommy (not that particular day but trust me, there are plenty).

Rio got tired and crawled up into my lap, it was heaven. There is nothing like the weight of a sleeping child in your arms.

When good kids cry a lot

Been a discouraging couple of weeks followed by a decent weekend (minus Rio burning himself on the waffle iron- be glad I don't have a camera!- Flesh is gross looking!) Thank you to all my "sisters" who have lifted me up, come to play, taken my children and lent a listening ear. I have been seriously wondering if I am a crazy person with so many highs and lows but you've all brought me down to earth and made me feel like I'm not so abnormal. I guess I just wanted to tell you that I love ya and I REALLY couldn't do this without you! So without further a due, finally some pictures from multiple friends' cameras:Proof that Rio did indeed turn 2 and learned a new common phrase: "Don like it."
He LOOOOOOVES Chezie!!! But can't pronounce her name right so he just says, "Chedie."
More baby lovin'.

Randomly on a boring day, we had a very merry unbirthday with the Nielsen girls- it was very unboring!

Still by Gerrit Hofsink

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day. Anyone who has lost a baby, I'm sending you lots of love tonight.

Filler

"The filler has its place. It is the reality of life. We work, pay bills, clean house and wipe runny noses. We lose our patience, say things we don't mean and feel inadequate for what we don't accomplish.

Sometimes we cry, say sorry, regret things or wish we could escape *this* moment.

Oh, but the Fueling. I live for the fueling. And when it doesn't come soon enough on its own, I bring it." - Kelle Hampton

Brannon has been getting off at 8 or 9 every evening. He hasn't seen Rio in 6 days and doesn't get a day off for two weeks. This week he'll have worked 120 hours. I've been making an extra effort to keep our house clean and chores completed. It wasn't a conscious decision, just something that happened, I think in order to compensate for lack of control. We've been keeping busy with preschool, dance class, and friends, I've been really enjoying the kids, they MAKE my days but this whole week could be described in one word- "filler." Cause I swear one day just turned into an extra long month somehow!

I'm in need of a Fueling - something to look forward to. Any ideas?

Update

Okay, well let me get this in quick. Belize has been reading for a couple of months now. Just 3 or 4 letter words and she doesn't like to do it so I don't press it. She's enjoying preschool (especially show and tell) and L-O-V-E-S her ballet and tap class (I'm amazed by how well she listens and follows her teacher). She's a walking spout of questions and energy. She is a sponge and soaks up anything that is explained to her- we got a lot a splainin' to do. We've started reading 3 scripture verses a night (she repeats), has memorized her part in the primary program and says very thoughtful and intelligent prayers. If Belize likes you, you will get an invitation to visit Disneyland. She likes everybody. She is a skilled whiner. She's getting quite adept at making deals to get what she wants. She makes nonsensical jokes and then laughs her head off. She is a joy to have around! She is helpful, goofy and lovey.

Rio is turning 2 tomorrow. He is a little man. He loves to bum rush you from behind (sometimes knocking me down). He giggles and says, "Again." He can say sentences now and is more willing to give hugs (still not kisses). His squinty-eyed, little teeth grin makes my heart pitter patter. It rained last week and he is still singing, "Come away, come away." (Rain, Rain, Go Away) He is still having crying spells sometimes after naps and almost always at breakfast time. I think he might possibly be color blind (is that a boy thing?). Rio is a tank. Throughout the day he randomly strips his clothes and diaper off. He is fascinated by babies and I bet he'll make a great big brother someday. I love the way he says, "Saaawy" (sorry). He puts himself into time out when he's crying. Or if I tell him to go in his room until he can be happy again, he beelines it for his bed and in a few minutes comes out saying, "Happy now". He's just a darling happy boy and has me wrapped around his little chubby finger. I wouldn't trade these 2 years with him for anything.

Me

Sometimes I feel like we struggle so hard to find our identity that we categorize ourselves- Are you a mother, a wife, a daughter, a person of note, a worker, etc. ?

That we fail to notice that we are all of the above, meshed up into one - ME. I am me.

I love the feeling that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, there is such satisfaction and joy from that. There is no place or person I'd rather be. I love being me. I'm not perfect, just trying my best. I'm praying that it can rub off on my kids because I'm 100% sure they are WAY cooler than I could ever be.

I'm just content (except that I WOULD like to be pregnant, Brannon are you reading this?).

This woman understands this so well:

Narration of Leo Cabrillo & yet another sad story of a broken camera

Brannon had a day off so we gathered the troops and headed to Leo Cabrillo State Park. We started off the journey with sour Skittles (Belize's choice, I'm guessing because the bag was pink).

We began with a small hike up a foggy valley.
The kids got a little dirty.
So we hiked back down to the ocean to clean our feet and explore the beach.
It was a cold and windy day so naturally Belize insisted she wear her swimsuit.
Trying to attempt a picture with both of the kids- WHY? WHY? Can they never be facing me for a picture? I try to gain vantage point and they scatter like cute little mice. I like mice, I can't help it, they are just adorable. Everytime we go to the pet store, I point out the tiny mice in cages that we could have as a pet and Brannon always tells the same story of how he and his Dad scared some mice out of the garage and onto the driveway and then killed them with soccer cleats. Poor mice.
This is where it gets interesting. Belize, Rio and Brannon head off to explore the OTHER side of the rocks.
They wait until the tide recedes and run around the protruding boulders.
Oh no! The water caught them!
Hey, this might be kindof fun.
Even hilarious.
I swear, this gets interesting, just skip to the end now if you are bored.

Rio gets tired, crashes and burns. He is no longer happy and cries the remainder of the beach.
Like how my shirt is a little nautical (my mom's favorite word)? In case you were wondering, I planned it. Not like, I went to the store and thought, "Where would I ever wear this darling shirt? Oh yeah, i remember Kelci telling me about Leo Cabrillo State park and how it was on the beach, and that would be the perfect place to wear it. I totally HAVE to buy it now." It was more like, "When we go to Leo Cabrillo, I am definitely going to wear that darling shirt I just bought cause it would look so cute in pictures by the ocean." By all means, the reasoning was just as bad and now I am ashamed that I put so much thought into an outfit and I promise I will never do it again. No, that's a lie, I probably will. Why am I so silly sometimes?
But doesn't the it look so darling next to the sand and my crying kid?
Finally! What I came for, a family picture! (It's been over a year since our last one and we are due (still love the last ones though- thanks Kailey (p.s. I can't find my CD!)).

Could this girl get any cuter?
"Mom! The way you are trying to cheer me up is disgusting me! How dare you!"
I love my kids. I just love 'em.
Now we get to the last segment and by far the most interesting part of our trip. I was stewing about how to make this story worthy of its hilarity but I just can't so I will just get to the point:

Brannon went around yet another treacherous boulder to "see what he could see" (do you know what fairy tale that is?) while I entertained the kids. He got curiouser and curiouser (do you know what movie that is?) He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum. No, no, what really happened? Oh yeah, he saw a light coming through a hole in a cave. He thought, "I can squeeze through that hole and see what is on the other side." But in reality he was too big for the hole. He got stuck and while scraping sand off the sides in order to become unstuck, a wave filled up the cave with water soaking said stuck-Brannon and ruined his phone and the camera *. Plus, his clothes were sopping wet and he had to drive home naked. The end.

P.S. We aren't due for an upgrade on a phone til October so my mom sent him the HOT PINK phone my sister wasn't using. Karma- its so entertaining, I just like to sit back and watch it happen.

* We did manage to save the SD card, hence the picture proof of our trip.

Pioneer Woman. Oops, I mean, City Mom or something like that.

Aside from "Shauna's Chocolate Frosting" (which is heavenly by the way) this is my second recipe EVER!!! Oh yeah and that one time I made apple cookies and wrote down the recipe, I think I still have it but if I ever find it, I will throw it in the trash cause those cookies were plain yucky. Oh yeah, and this recipe I got from someone else and then tweaked it so I'm not even sure that it counts for my recipe.

Without further a due I present (drum roll):

Shauna's Bread Pudding (I know, it's original, get over it).

8 slices of cinnamon bread, cubed (I used Cinnabon cinnamon bread but you could also use raisin bread)

1/4 c. melted butter

3 eggs, beaten

1 1/2 c. warm milk (yes, it needs to be warm)

1/2 c. buttermilk

1/2 c. brown sugar

1/4 c. white sugar (I'm not P.C. here)

1 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. nutmeg

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1/2 c. chopped nuts (I used walnuts but pecans would be good too)

Some caramel sauce (not sure how much I used but I suppose it would be up to the person how much they LIKED caramel)

Preheat oven to 350. Place bread cubes in a well greased 8 by 8 glass square dish. In a bowl, mix sugars, melted butter, well beaten eggs and milks. Beat until smooth. Stir in cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla. Pour over cubes and mix lightly. Sprinkle nuts on top and then drizzle caramel sauce on the top. Bake for 25-30 minutes, making sure your top does not burn.

Warning: This is good. Real good. I may or may not have eaten this for dinner, breakfast, lunch then dinner again. If you are my friend you will try this recipe and then tell me how much you utterly adore me.

Sorry there is no mouth-watering picture, we are out yet ANOTHER camera. I'm mulling over that story for a future blog in my head.

Double Trouble

I helped prepare a baby shower the other day and was talking to Belize about it. She asked, "Is that where they (the babies) shower with their mommies?"

Belize got off the emotional roller coaster for a while but has now stepped back on the ride, refusing to get off. All day it goes FROM: "Mommy, I love you forever." Giving sweet kisses and cuddling TO: "Nobody likes me." Crying forEVER on the floor of her room when she doesn't want to do something. It's more than a little exhausting, however I do enjoy the highs and hope that the affectionate part will permanently stick with her.

Belize started preschool again this year. She loves it. When I ask her what she did, she coyly answers, "It's a secret." She thinks she's so cool now that she goes to school and tells Rio so all the time. When we drop her off, Rio cries, "Come too! Come too!" It's so sad.

Rio can count to nine, skipping the five of course. And the way he says, "Seben" just kills me!

"No!" is still Rio's favorite word, followed by "Come too!", "UpDown","Yup" and "I do it." He's started putting four words together.

He refuses to kiss me except when he says goodbye after I drop him off in nursery. SOMEtimes, he'll give me a hug after a nap. I'm hoping that eventually when he does get another sibling he'll get super jeal and love me to pieces again. He sleeps in a toddler bed, doesn't drink from a bottle and now no kisses!?!?!?!?! I guess this means I need to exit denial soon and admit that he's not my baby anymore . . . . NO!!! NEVER!!!!!!

Today both the kids wouldn't stop whining/crying so I did what every normal parent would do - I locked myself in my room to stop myself from strangling them. I hope they know how lucky they are to be alive especially after the pounding on the door ensued. I mean, can't I just get some privacy? (If you don't already know, Belize's favorite thing to do is to keep you company when you are on the pot- it's weird, I know. Thanks a lot Brannon!).

This makes me happy

Happy 7th Anniversary Sweetheart!

Pictures courtesy of Belize.

Ever since BabyO there is a new layer to our relationship, one that can only happen after clinging on to one another as if your life depended on it (and for me it did). On our branches we are still individual & unique- blossoming for different reasons but in the earth our roots continue to grow deeper- more tightly intertwined. I've been trying to think of a word which describes how I feel about Brannon and I think the closest I can come is: delight. I delight in Brannon. I love it when "Blocked ID" pops up on my phone, when I hear the key in the door, or when I get to check him out while he's in the driver's seat. To those of you who aren't feeling like you can't breathe until you see your hubby again- don't worry- you probably still love him, he's probably not gone 100 hours out of the week or he's just not as hot as mine . . . just kidding . . . maybe half-kidding but no offense.

While we were out of town:

Brannon went a little Type A and kept himself busy the whole time. Helping people move, working on the car, cleaning the house, returning Tupperware and oh yeah, hiking to the top of Mt. Baldy on his day off with a couple of the young men he works with in church. Here are some pics of Brannon, Adam & Shane, Brannon would write more details but he's not a very bloggy guy so the pictures will have to speak for themselves.